Every morning, when I’m finished preparing for school, I give myself a once over in the mirror. At least, that’s how it starts. It progresses to a fifth over, and then an all out session of me insulting myself about the way I look. I know for a fact that I’m not the only one who partakes in this ritual, and, I know there’s a way to beat her.
Her. The evil girl in the mirror. You see this “ritual” is like a humongous game of Go-Fish, and she always wins. For every one thing I find good about myself in the mirror, she finds two bad. I don’t really blame her for trying to hurt me, that’s all she has to look forward to. She’s trapped in a mirror, she has no social life, I could go on about how miserable she is but, its just not worth it. She has been winning since I was six years old. She never neglects to remind me…
“You, INSERT NAME HERE, are a fat, ugly, girl. Have you seen those stretch marks on your thighs? Have you know self respect. Are you really wearing that to school, even though you look like a freak? Every time you sit down your rolls will bulge out of that dress. No, your no Emily, that girl is perfect! She is tall blonde skinny, and has an amazing smile, every time you smile you just look constipated. She Is everything you wish you were. Awww. Don’t cry like that you’ll make your face even more puffy than it already is. Hey, thunder thighs, no man will ever love you. You will die alone. Or worse! You’ll end up like your mom! Did you know that you, a freshman, are the only girl you know that a guy hasn’t been interested in. Hahahahahahaha! Nice try fatso! I WIN!!!!”
Almost ten years later I have finally found a way to beat her. Yes, its sneaky, and probably considered cheating, but for my sanity. Just once I NEED TO WIN! So last night. I hid an ace up my sleeve; metaphorically.
You see, last night for some reason I couldn’t sleep. So I decided I’d play a round with her in the mirror. If this night were normal it probably would have been a bad idea; being that I was wearing a cami and my underwear. But, this night wasn’t normal, I had a revelation. I stood up on the edge of my bead as if I were about to start jumping on it like a toddler. Here I felt like, I was on a platform, I felt powerful, I made a speech; all in my underpants! I said….
“I, INSERT NAME HERE, am a confident beautiful young woman. I am intelligent, active, and happy. So what, If I am not a size 0. As long as I’m healthy. I don’t need a man to survive, but that doesn’t mean I won’t get one. And even if I don’t. I will certainly not die alone. I will turn out to be a highly successful, respected person. I will be effective and productive. And I will definitely leave my mark on this world. Weather you like it or not! So Ha! I Win!!!”
After my speech I looked in the mirror. I realized. I’m not morbidly obese. I could tone up but its not that bad. Those “stretch marks” she was talking about were barely even there! I am pretty. I am smart. I am confident. I beat the bitch in the mirror.
