The Big Here

It starts with, what would it be like if something happened to me. Would mom care, would a tear fall from my Father's cheeks, my step mom wouldn't even blink. No one cares.

Later your mom asks, "do you even want to be here anymore, because you're always welcome to go live with your dad." That's it the heart has shattered one thousand too many times, you've snapped. You scream "It's not that I don't want to be here, I don't want to be HERE!"

The big HERE, your mom looks confused, after a minute she gets it. The big HERE, planet earth, she realizes, that she just witnessed her own child tell her that they no longer wish they were alive. She's scared and confused and has no idea how to handle it. Her child is suicidal. No one ever thinks it will happen to them until it does.

These thoughts are normal, for anyone who is depressed, it is scary, but it occurs more often than anyone would like to admit. Even if the slightest thought comes to mind, tell some one, get help. They have no right to look at you like your insane, your depressed.

If you, or someone you know may be suicidal, please call a hot line for example:

1-800-784-2433/ 1-800-SUICIDE

You are not alone, suicide is a monster that no matter what, never deserves to win. Beat it, I did.

With tons of LOVE, Katie